Payback’s a Bitch – Pennies from Heaven (Or Hell)
I borrowed three dollars from W the other day.
“I’ll gladly pay you on Tuesday,” I said, winking.
“Oh you’ll pay me back,” he said. “I’ll think of a suitable way for you to do that and let you know what you’ll need to do.”
Ever heard of a pound of flesh? But how much could he want for three dollars?
It didn’t turn out to be a whole POUND of flesh. Well at least not yet. After figuring out what the next one is going to be (I’ve paid back two dollars), I could seriously be revising that statement.
Here’s what he came up with:
For each dollar I will be given two options for paying it back:
Dollar 1 – You will be tied in the Sunset Room. While tied, you can either tell me how many coins there are in the room, or find them all and bring them to me.
I debated this. Thought about being tied, wriggling around on the floor, trying to pick up coins in my mouth. Ewwww. But the second option…I mean really? How hard would it be to count a few coins? He’d hide a few here and there and I’d have to look around and spot them. The room has very few hiding spots…
The tie wasn’t so bad. In fact I was figuring I’d REALLY made the right decision – this was going to a piece of cake!
Apparently I misunderstood how it was actually going to work.
You’re going to do what? Throw a handful of change on the floor for me to count??? ME, count? Seriously? (He had to be joking, right?)
That is the part that made this option a very bad choice for me. In fact bad enough that W and Ad were both shocked I picked it. Yes, I can count, but…I get…umm…lost sometimes. Skip numbers when I get up in the 30′s and above. I know I shouldn’t be admitting that. It’s not that I don’t know how to count, really! I just…lose track easily.
Seriously? There’s…umm…a LOT of coins here.
But that wasn’t it. Of course W had to add a little something extra. He called it “incentive.” Not sure if he meant the pun. ;-)
Counting is hard enough. Counting while being “distracted” is…well, harder.
38, 39, 50, 51, 52… Oh shit.
A moment of respite from the dragon’s tail. Count fast, count fast!
Not fast enough, apparently.
It only took me five tries to get the count right. I don’t know how many lashes with that damn whip.
Oh, you want to know how many coins there were? Seventy-six. (I can’t help hearing in my head, “Seventy-six is the number. No more, no less.”) SEVENTY-SIX coins for a girl that loses track at about forty. “Payback with interest,” he called it. Huh. Maybe I ought to negotiate the terms of my loans in advance in the future!
Stayed tuned for the rest of my Paybacks from Hell. :-D