The Link Between Yoga, Meditation & BDSM

I was in class this evening (yoga) with the Missy, and our instructor was doing some guided meditation. As her voice lulled me into a deep quietude, I felt myself doing that thing that I do when I fall into subspace: I call it “falling into myself.” And in falling “in” I fly out. There’s no other word to describe it. I fall into this deep, quiet place inside and suddenly, inexplicably, I am opening up as well; but not like the soaring joy I experience in the heart-opening asanas, but in some other deeper, perhaps more profound way.

And just as it is different from the soaring asanas, that subspace that this is akin to is different than the subspace where I literally fly, my mind rising above the scene and skittering away. This is more like…well, it’s a floating, a quiet, deep floating, like being in very deep, very still water. Sound goes away, my perception narrows down to a point behind my eyes–and then, suddenly opens up inside of me. I spin down and down to that place deep inside and then I float there, still and calm, while my perception explores all the interior spaces inside my head. But not thinking places. This is a place of no thought, only…perception. Not even of any feeling, emotional or physical. It is only an understanding of being, being there, quiescent, quiet, calm.

I have found the edges of it before in certain poses, but never as deeply as I did tonight. There was no struggle to stay focused, to empty my mind, to be still. I just was. It was lovely. And I realized that part of it is in not struggling, not trying to force myself to be there; simply to be.

That is the way it is with that space when we play too. Sometimes it feels that I am seeking and reaching out desperately, struggling to grasp at the edges of that space, feeling it slip into my grasp and then just as quickly away again; other times I simply…fall into it. There is no effort, no desire or struggle to be there, to find that space: it finds me, and I am simply there, floating. As tonight: lovely.  And as it should be.

As I found myself so easily in that space tonight, I recognized the similarities.  I saw myself there, in subspace, as I was there, in class. The link, the mirroring of one to the other, was so very clear (and perhaps the keys to allowing myself to experience that space more easily in either instance) that I wanted to share it with my instructor.

Of course I couldn’t. But now I am wondering if I can find a “kink-friendly” yoga instructor.

Comments

  1. curiousgurl

    I just found mine (accidentally of course) and I’m sure there are many others out there. Good luck in finding yours. :)

    Reply

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