I recently saw a tattoo that’s been going around Pinterest: “Accept nothing less than butterflies.” I love that saying, and not just because I vacillate so often between being a butterfly and having butterflies, either. It really does epitomize how I feel about life, and how it should be lived: full on, baby. I enjoy that feeling of contentment and comfort that home and my steadfast loves bring me, but I always want to know that there are butterflies still to experience, whether they are from a new adventure, an exhilarating challenge, a crazy, wonderful new idea, or simply thinking about my men and the joys and intimacies and depth of the connections that we share.
Oh, and the butterflies that come from flirting with a new lover aren’t bad either.
I got to experience all of those things this past weekend, as well as be a (social) butterfly.
The weekend started Friday night when someone I have dated a couple times, and with whom I have begun to negotiate a play relationship, came over to hang out with W and I. I had had to cancel our previous date, and when he asked me if I was available Friday I talked to W and then made a suggestion: why didn’t he come over and watch (and possibly join in) while W and I played? I didn’t think we’d ever played around him before, and although I talk about what we do here, and have tons of pictures on Fet of us playing, there’s nothing like getting a feel for how someone plays than by actually watching them do it. I am always a little anxious when I start to negotiate a play date with someone who’s only seen my pictures or read my accounts of what we do, because that is such an incomplete picture. I’m nowhere near the painslut/crazy maso that it might appear – W just knows how to get the most out of me. ;-) So this date would serve a couple uses: W and I would get to play; I’d get to spend some time – out of the public eye and ear – with my friend; W would get to talk to and know him a little better and he W; and he’d get to observe our dynamic firsthand.
It was a blast, all the way around. They both beat me up a bit, I had a couple explosive orgasms, we talked and laughed and drank and had chocolate martinis at the Chocolate Bar afterward. And I got the sweetest follow-up text later, indicating that there is a distinct possibility that we may actually move this into the “play-partners” realm! So I am quite thrilled.
Saturday morning I had an appointment with my hair lady. I’ve been playing with colors for the past few months, and she had done some “corrective” work last time, because I had decided I wanted to go back to reds as opposed to the fun blonde forelock I had been sporting. But as the time came to go back and get my hair redone, I started missing my sassy blonde, and I knew I was going to have her redo it all over again. But she is a better hairdresser than anyone I’ve been to previous: she wouldn’t just do what I wanted, the condition of my hair be damned. She is willing to get there, but she wants to do it in a way that will cause the least damage to my hair. So we worked out a compromise, and in doing so settled on some really vibrant red highlights that I ended up LOVING.
And that also gave me an idea for the party that we were going to that night.
Here’s the thing: in all our planning and talking about and anticipation of the swinger party, I had forgotten one tiny detail: it was billed as a themed party, with the theme being “Gods of the Arena.” Costumes were not required, but were encouraged.
So, maybe I hadn’t exactly “forgotten” that part. I just sort of…ignored it. At most of the swinger events we’ve attended, very few people actually dress to the themes of the parties. ~shrug~ And besides which…togas? Seriously? So…I decided I’d wear something sexy and slutty and sultry and we probably wouldn’t be the only ones not dressed in costume.
Boy, was I wrong! Of the 20 or so couples there, a mere handful were not costumed.
But, in an odd bit of serendipity and last-minute ingenuity and inspiration, I wasn’t one of them.
It was all my hairdresser’s fault. That gorgeous red that she put in my hair reminded me of a length of shimmery, sheer red cloth that I had sitting in a drawer. I started thinking about what it would look like wrapped around my body, with nothing on underneath…and a costume idea was born. I’ll have to find some way to thank her, without having to show her the picture of my “toga.”
Because honey, this wasn’t your mama’s (or Caesar’s) toga! (Maybe Caligula’s, though.)
The party was a huge success (for us at least. I haven’t heard/read any other accounts of it yet.) The venue was amazing and the size of the party absolutely perfect. We met several new couples, I practiced handing out our “swinger calling cards,” W was amazingly adept at introducing us to new people and not letting me sit on the sidelines and watch, we had a little bit of fun in a sex swing (no, I didn’t get the public fisting I had hoped for from my Kinky Bucket List, but we were no slouches, lol) and had some yummy sex (with each other) in the “play” room. I think I might have gotten flirted with by some lovely ladies (a couple that actually read this blog, a joy and a surprise in and of itself – hello there!!) ;-) and maybe a boy or two as well! And with W “opening up” conversation with people (my least favorite part of any party) I swung (pun intended!) into full social butterfly mode and made W proud of me (I think) by flitting about and talking to lots and lots of people. And best of all (to me)? He knew exactly when I was peopled out. No, he didn’t give in and let me go home right then (he is MUCH more the cocktail party animal than I am!) but that was good. I need to be pushed a little beyond my comfort level at these sort of things, and he knows it. That’s how well he knows me, and how well we work together. We really were a smashing team.
And my costume was a huge success!
And then there was Sunday. Hard to believe I had scheduled myself so heavily over the weekend. I know myself well enough to know that I need time and quiet to recharge. But really, it couldn’t be helped. I didn’t want to miss my Friday date, the party on Sat was something W was totally looking forward to, and the NaNoWriMo Pre-Kick-Off party was something I had never attended and didn’t want to miss.
Except I almost did.
First I tried to weasel out of it by just deciding I was too tired, but Ad was having none of that. And truthfully, I know he would have been disappointed in me if I’d bailed on the writing thing because of a swinger party. W was also insistent that I go, and furthermore, he knows me well enough to know that I was feeling anti-social enough that I might go and not speak a word to anyone except the one friend I was meeting, which would have been a shame. So he gave me the imperative that I was required to meet and talk to two other people besides my friend T that I was meeting there. So, I got ready to go…but realized as I was getting out of the tub that I was running behind. I arrived 15 minutes late…and, for a moment, almost let myself use that as an excuse not to go in.
Really what made me go in was the fact that an old friend, whom I hadn’t seen in more than five years, but who had recently moved back to town, had said she was going to be there. I couldn’t just not show up! So in I went, and was surprised and delighted to finally meet Malflic after having chatted back and forth on Twitter and our blogs for some time. And it’s a good thing I did, because my friend never showed up herself! I was bitterly disappointed, but…such is life. I ended up having a great time (even when the subject of 50 Shades of Grey came up because I said I was writing erotica.)
But oh yeah I was ready for something different when I got done! And that different turned out to be meeting the Guys at the Zoo to play with the Letter Z. We had a great time (and I am so sad to see the Alphabet Challenge going away!) We continued on our merry way to supper at a favorite pizza dive here, and a pitcher of beer later, we were at W’s, playing with rope. There was something I wanted to do, and I talked the Guys into giving it a try. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, it didn’t come together the way we had hoped…but never fear, the next night it did (more about that in another post!)
And that, my friends, was my weekend playing Social Butterfly! How was your weekend?
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