#KOTW – Hoods
Every time I post a new Kink of the Week topic, I am thrilled by the different perspectives I get to read and how much I learn about what makes us kinky, what turns us on or off, and how different – or similar – we all are. Sometimes I feel like Kink of the Week is my personal peek into what makes people tick. So what that means is that essentially ya’ll are writing solely for my benefit and edification, and, since what goes on in people’s brains turns me on, you’re obviously writing to turn me on. (How’s that for a nice bit of egoism?)
Oh wait, that discussion (getting turned on by intelligence) is next week’s KOTW.
This week we’re talking about hoods.
I have only played with hoods twice in all the years I’ve been doing kink. Once was in the scene above, very early on with W, and once was in a kidnapping/interrogation scene I did at Tryst this last time we went (which I still haven’t posted pictures of! Bad Jade. Spank me? Please.) The hood they used then was more like a stocking mask, and was very effective at inducing confusion and disorientation. I wasn’t exactly afraid during that scene, or when they put the hood on me – that is until they poured water on my face over the hood. Then I panicked. I don’t love something over my nose in the first place, although it’s not something usually fearful for me, it’s more of a worry that at some point I might not be able to breathe. In the case of the water being thrown onto my face while I was in the hood, I knew I couldn’t breathe. It was what made me give up in the end of that scene. But the hood by itself? That was kind of hot.
I also liked it in the scene above. I enjoyed the feeling of vulnerability and disorientation, enjoyed the bite of anxiety and feeling…disconnected…from W with the hood on. It’s not humiliating, but it’s certainly objectifying in a wholly different way than the other ways we have played. To be honest I don’t remember all the feelings it induced or much about the scene at all. I am shocked I never wrote about it.
But that may be because the feelings were intense – so much so that I wasn’t able to parse through them yet, here, in public. I needed time to think about the scene, to turn it upside down, to examine it – to distance myself from what I felt. And then, as happens so often, we did more and other things, and time went by, and I forgot to write it all down.
Maybe I am distancing myself from the feelings the hood induced even now, actually. Because I realized something as I was working on this post: in all the years since that first time, we haven’t played with hoods again (there actually was a “reenactment” scene that W did with me as research on a story, but that was with a sweater he’d put over my head.) I got to thinking about that, and I realized that part of the reason is that, even though most of the reason is that W doesn’t really care much for them (he likes to see my reactions in my face) the other reason is that I haven’t pressed to play with them. I suspect that somewhere in my psyche there is an edge there, something about the anonymity of being hooded, that is a strong trigger. As Malflic says in his post:
Even if it is a person I know and love in the hood it is suddenly much easier for me to objectify them. To treat them however briefly as more of an object, they’re now just a thing that I’m playing with, something to be toyed with and hurt for my amusement. There is no doubt that something about it dehumanizes them in a small way even if their need little eyes are staring back at me. Pinching a little longer, striking a little harder just for good measure, fucking them like a stranger harder and faster solely for my pleasure not theirs. Perhaps somewhere in my mis-wired toppy brain seeing the mere appearance of a hood as makes them seem much more submissive? It’s not that the play is any less safe, there’s still the control, the calculation and knowing where the boundaries are, it’s just that I’m more likely to push them close to that edge if it’s not the same face I’m going to kiss good night later staring back at me.
There’s something about that, about being that object, that “thing to be hurt,” that scares me a little.
And turns me on. Oh yeah. We all know that’s there, too.
There were some other things that surprised me in the other KOTW posts, things that I hadn’t thought of. One was also in Malflic’s post, in which he talked about being hooded as a Top. I’ve never played with a Top that wore a hood. I’m not sure I could feel…serious…in that scenario, although the way he describes it he is more menacing than without. So that’s something to think about. Also, in Curvaceous Dee’s post, she talks about her lover wanting to play/have sex in a hood. They switch, but in these instances I believe he is usually the bottom. To me, being hooded is always something the Top does to the bottom. It’s a tool to incite humiliation or submission, to objectify. Obviously if the bottom wants to be hooded, it is about something completely different. I am curious about that.
I also found interesting the comment left on Sassy Cat’s post, in which the Top describes using a hood not as a tool to objectify her, but as a tool to heighten her sensations. By cutting off the distractions of sight and hearing, her other senses are all that much more acute, and it allows her imagination to also enhance her experience.
Lastly was a piece of fiction that The Sin Doll wrote. I have no idea why this kind of objectification had never occurred to me – maybe because, again, my kink is so closely tied to W’s, and he doesn’t talk about fucking me hooded, or having me fucked hooded. Also, when I think about a hooded scene it is all about kink play: whips, crops, like that. In her story, a woman, a prostitute, is fucked in a hood. She is not allowed to speak, and he moves her about any way that he wants, not abusively, but obviously using her just as a hole, as an anonymous, faceless body.
Good fucking GOD that’s hot. How could I not have thought of this myself, used it while I fucked myself??
Looks like I have a new fantasy. You’ll excuse me while I go and “think” about it for a little while, won’t you?