A person who has become a very good friend totally changed my perspective on voyeurism. I will admit that for most of my adult life the concept did not interest me at all, and, perhaps because of societal pressure, even squicked me out a little. But I am now intrigued by the nuances and kinky twists on power play that can spring from voyeurism.
I was hosting a bondage suite in a darkened room at a swinger lifestyle convention the day that I met my friend. As I answered questions and tied up cautious volunteers, I noticed a woman fastened into a set of stocks that I had provided “for educational purposes”. In contrast to the normal style of this type of affair, her partner wasn’t readily apparent. Eventually though, he brought her to me and asked me to tie and torment her. He said he preferred to watch. And true to form he would periodically disappear and return to participate as she was tied, tormented, manipulated and brought to orgasm in front of the intimate audience that ebbed and flowed.
As the audience began to dissipate a bit, her told me that he was a voyeur, and preferred to watch in secret. He asked me to continue to play with his partner, stating that he would leave the room for a while, but could subtly return at any time. If I saw him I was not to acknowledge his presence. He preferred to walk in on something unexpected.
And he did. It was a heady experience.
That was the beginning of a long friendship in which he would periodically loan his partner to me, complete with a box of video tapes. He might have some general guidance or specific requests, but he would also add – “just surprise me” to his instructions. Locations and circumstances would vary, but there was always the possibility that he would arrive at any time and clandestinely watch.
I’m very grateful for the perspective that my friend shared, as ever since I have viewed voyeurism in a different light. When coupled with the possibilities of power play, voyeuristic scenarios can become intoxicatingly powerful. I love them, and continually contemplate situations where one or more parties might secretly watch or be compelled to watch as something unusual and forbidden unfolds around them.
In most instances I remain a doer, rather than a watcher, but when working with someone for whom this is a powerful turn on, I have become an enthusiastic voyeuristic accomplice.