Three Wishes

wickedwed

I unwittingly made three wishes on Monday, without this week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt in mind:

I wish W was here.
I wish I wasn’t alone.
I wish I was better at being alone.

Now if I actually had three wishes, and was able to choose them with deliberation, I am sure I could come up with something better than those three.

But those are the wishes I made, aren’t they?

W will be here on the 15th. I am (literally) counting down the days (can’t count down the hours because I don’t know exactly when he gets in from NYC yet.) And once he gets here I won’t be alone. But meanwhile…

What would I do if I was better at doing this thing I am doing – this enforced solitude?

I wouldn’t mope as much. I’d make plans to do fun things, like take afternoon drives, explore the area, go out to eat, go see a movie, spend a day in a coffee shopI could enjoy the experience for what it is, enjoy the quiet and solitude (which is all I said I wanted when I was in California – grass is always greener, eh?) I could appreciate this as the adventure it is more fully, without the constant ache of loneliness tugging at my heart and mind.

I’m trying, really I am. I’m working on it. I’m practicing. And…

I’m getting better. A lot better. Technology helps enormously (Skype I love you!) Texting, emailing, Facebook, even the occasional phone call (gasp!) Our growing comfort with using the technologies available to us and our growing mastery of the vagaries and complexities of long-distance communication have all made this so much more bearable than previous times we have been apart. And, at times, it’s even been fun. Even W’s learning how the little prompt on his part can help me cope.

So, maybe this weekend…I’ll go somewhere new. Take a drive, take myself out to dinner. Listen to some live music. Go to a bar and flirt with a stranger. Who knows?  The possibilities are…well, not endless, but they are out there.

If I can be brave, and less of a whiner, and just…do it.

I know, I know, not very “wicked.” But I am sure there’s a lot more wickedness at the link below!

wickedwed

 

 

Comments

  1. SassyCat

    I can relate to a lot here. But what sticks out in my mind is “Go to a bar and flirt with a stranger.” That’s one of my personal faves. Had to smile at the part about technology. Your comment about “occasional phone call” lol. My mind went to phone sex to asking myself is it “SkypeSex” now? Hope you work it all out so that you are comfortable. Happy Wicked Wednesday.

    Reply
    1. Jade Post author

      LOL…Skype sex?!? I’m going to out my man here a bit – he is uncomfortable with ANY kind of technology-assisted sex stuff! He won’t even flirt, much less get naughty, on the phone, in chat, in text, in email or Skype. :-( At least I got him to Skype with me in the bath the other night but…uh…not even a glimmer of naughtiness, even with a naked Jade in the bath! LOL Oh well…maybe that is the next step in our learning… ;-)

      Reply
  2. Marie Rebelle

    I have always wanted to be entirely alone, no kids, no pressure. no nothing. Just me and nature, all by myself. Then I met Master T and ever since I never want to be alone, but always want to be with Him, share everything with Him. I hope time passes quickly so W can be there with you :)

    Rebel xox

    Reply
    1. Jade Post author

      That is the thing that has been interesting in this experiment (house sitting.) It *would* be lovely if I had no responsibilities but myself (tho I won’t deny that I would still be lonely.) But there is an added stress I hadn’t counted on, in being responsible for someone else’s home and pets. It diminishes a lot of the…easy pleasure that I might have enjoyed if it was just me.

      Reply
  3. molly

    Oh yes you can do, and think how proud you will be when you do. I have to say I envy you slightly. Although being away from Michael would make my heart ache being so rural for a short while would also be amazing. I think I would make myself a little lunch every day, pack my camera, bundle up warm and go and explore

    Mollyxxx

    Ps… I am willing the days away with you

    Reply
    1. Jade Post author

      I do get out each day and enjoy the simple pleasure of this beautiful, rural place by taking Moxie on her walk. I still have to work my 8 hour a day “real” job, though, and I have to walk the dog for an hour a day, so that takes away from some of my ability to just head out and explore on my own during the day, and by the time my workday is over it’s usually dark, so it’s not quite the independent idyll that I had hoped…but I am making it work and persevering! :-)

      Reply
  4. Beauty's Punishment

    Jolynn and I aren’t apart much since we live together, and are technically married. (It’s Wisconsin). When we were dating there was more missing and being lonely. It seems like if you live together, then you are happy to have the house to yourself.

    Reply

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