Orgasm Control – Day 2: “3 Minutes, No ‘O'”



I know Sinful Sunday is all about the image, but there’s a story behind this one. (Of course.)

This was Day 2 of us experimenting with orgasm control. “Use Pink,” (above, usually a vibrating dildo), he said, “a minimum of three minutes every time you use the bathroom. But no ‘O’.”

I had to email him back. “Pink is usually a vibrator, but, um, I forgot to check the batteries. My only vibrating toy is Baldy. And using Baldy for three minutes without coming is going to be a challenge.”

His response was not as sympathetic as I had hoped. (Actually it was perfect, he’s too sympathetic most times and lets me get away with murder. But we won’t tell him that.) He replied, “I was thinking Pink was working – I realize Baldy is a challenge, but then it’s not my fault the battery is dead.  Any vibe – functioning or not – is acceptable, but at least three trips require a functioning vibrator.”

And…my work was cut out for me.

Given the right stimulus, I can come in under a minute with Baldy. There are plenty of times that it takes me a while, too, but, in general, if I’m at all focused I can get there pretty quick with him. So the first bathroom break it was an effort not to come – three times.  And I returned to my seat horny as fuck.

The next time, I brought Pink in. Now, dildos do nothing for me without some kind of clitoral stimulation, but I’d already been brought to the brink of an orgasm three times the previous bathroom trip, so, while there was no chance of me even getting close to an orgasm while playing with Pink, it was still pleasurable, and Pink was slick with my juices when my three minutes were up.

Not an hour later I had to go again. “Damn coffee!” I complained in text.

“Drink more!” W replied.

This time I brought in Baldy again. I was curious about playing with denial and wanted to push that edge, but instead of it making me crazy with wanting to orgasm, it turned out it was a little easier to resist this time.

What was going on here? I thought about it awhile.

I had always had a difficult time orgasming, before kink. And even afterwards, at times. I have learned how to make myself come, and the Guys have learned what gets me there, and frankly sometimes now it just happens (maybe my body has trained itself?) but if, in the normal course of sex or BDSM play, I am denied the orgasm that I am building towards, either by accident or design, then my body just shuts down. It is a defense mechanism, I think, from all those years of not having orgasms.

And that’s exactly what was happening now. Instead of getting steadily more excited, my sexual response was tamping down. Kind of like the fox that can’t get the grapes, “Well, I don’t want those grapes anyway.”

By the last time I went to the restroom and used Baldy, I was absolutely certain of this effect. My mind wasn’t in it, and even if it had been, my body knew it wasn’t going to be allowed to come, so it wasn’t even going to try.

It was a very eye-opening experience.

Having said all that, though, I don’t know if the same thing would happen if we were to play denial games in which there was a possibility I’d be allowed to orgasm. I think my body shut off because it knew there was absolutely no chance of an orgasm. But if the game was for me to get there, and if I got there, I might be allowed to come?

Hmm…somethings to ponder… SinfulSundayLips150


  1. HappyComeLucky

    Beautiful picture and very interesting to read about your experiences. There are so many different variations on orgasm control and as each person is unique we all respond differently.

  2. ancilla ksst

    We haven’t played that way, but I’m thinking that too much of that would do the same for me, make it much hard to cum. Instead he tells me if I’m allowed to masturbate during the day or not. If I am allowed to do it, then I can also come. If I can’t have an orgasm that means I also can’t touch myself at all, other than basic functions of course.

    1. Jade Post author

      I actually prefer your method. I’d almost forgotten, but for a short time, when I was with a couple I dated, I had to ask permission each time I wanted to masturbate. I kind of liked that…the waiting for them to text back…or not…being allowed to….or told not. Control, and occasionally denial, but not the “edging” thing. They would also text me randomly and tell me I wasn’t going to be allowed to masturbate (or have sex) for the next 72 hours, but I had 2 hours to get one in now, if I could manage it. That was fun too.

  3. Mia

    Oh how I know that feeling!!! As you know, I am not one for edging, it just doesn’t work for me but I can see how for some it would work.

    We are all so different and it is fascinating to see how others find things that work and don’t work.

    ~Mia~ xx

  4. Molly

    Been here and felt that…. I actually get to the stage where I am almost bored with it, it becomes a task to just perform becuse you have been told not…. I could almost read a book and do it, that is how disassociated I become from the physical reaction.

    Interesting idea about ‘shutting down’ and I think maybe mine is similar but it nearly always leads to be getting grumpy and moody as I just start to think… this is like before, I didn’t want this, I wanted sex, fucking and orgasms… I know in my head he is not denying it because he doesn’t care but because he wants it to be hot but it like my mind immediately resorts to its old habits and feeling and then the whole process is lost on me….

    However, in person, with him there, pushing and edging to see how far he can go and how I can control it… or not…. now that is different


  5. Jack (and Jill)

    A very exciting read. We’ve always found orgasm control particularly interesting because, like certain sexual practices, it doesn’t appeal to us personally and we like knowing more about the variations in human sexuality. As well written as this post was, we couldn’t help but find the experience arousing. The picture didn’t hurt either.

  6. Scarlett Dubois

    Orgasm denial isn’t something we have focused on because Sir and me don’t see each other as much as we’d like to. But it is certainly something I am not looking forward to.
    However, the dissociative feeling I am beginning to understand. Lately, toys and other stimuli won’t work; by body has been craving real human interaction, and anything other than that, just causes me to get carpal tunnel in my hand from trying to much. Sir tells me I have to learn patience. Ick. xxx


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