Hey, so…I had a birthday party in September! I know, it went by with barely a peep, unlike last year, when I had the mega-birthday-spanking extravaganza (that I still haven’t posted the video of – but I’m working on it!) or the year that I offered my ass up to anyone that wanted to spank it at Tryst. But we had some fun, and it all started with an invitation to a few friends to come over for an UN-Birthday Party.
What’s an unbirthday party? Well, honestly it’s just an excuse to throw myself a birthday party without having to own up to throwing myself a birthday party. But, hell, I do it every year, why do I still feel awkward and self-conscious about it? ~rolling eyes~
Anyway, it was a blast. A friend and I had been planning to have her come in to town for a visit the weekend before my birthday, and I wanted to introduce her to my crowd of kinky friends here, so throwing a party seemed a great way to do it. And since my birthday was coming up anyway I thought ” Why not combine the two?” I think it was a roaring success, on both counts. What could be better than birthday spankings (shared around!), good friends old and new, good food and drink and lots of laughter?
As we usually do when we host a party, we decided to get the ball rolling with a party game. That’s actually where the unbirthday part starts. Rather than have people give me that the correct number of birthday spankings, we devised a game in which, depending on a right or wrong answer, I would get a certain number of spanks corresponding to whatever age I was. It went like this: as people arrived, I gave them a slip of paper with a year on it. If they chose to, they could approach me during the party and tell me the year that they had. I would then tell them two “facts,” one of which was true, about that year of my life. They had to decide which was the true fact and which was made up. My visiting friend, L, had worked on them all afternoon (bless her!) blending fact and fiction from her own life and mine – it was a great way to get to know her better as we compared “where were you in 1998?” type of stuff. Oh how different our lives were! What was even funnier was that most people got the facts wrong – they seemed to think I had a lot more conventional upbringing and early adulthood than I did. If they were wrong, I got the number of spanks corresponding with my age that year. If they were right, I got double that number. Then they got to spin the spinner to determine what implement was going to be used:
In fact everyone – L, W, and Ad – worked so hard to make this party a success…I can’t say enough how much I appreciate everyone putting up with my crazy party ideas. They’re the best. :-)
I have no idea how many spanks I actually got…I stopped counting after the first three or four times the spinner got spun.
I wasn’t the only who got spanks though. Everyone got in the act…
It wasn’t all Tops – or the men – doing the spanking, either…
The birthday girl may have also got in a few whacks of her own. After all, it was an UNbirthday party – an unbirthday girl can deliver some spanks, right?
Then there was the merry-go-round spank.
I also had a little delicious bit of fun that I hadn’t anticipated, getting to hold my friend G while she and I shared a round of spankings.
I’ve gone back and forth in my desire/tolerance of watching W play with others. Sometimes, it makes me acutely uncomfortable seeing him hurt someone else. Sometimes the discomfort is tinged with anxiety for him (what if she isn’t liking what he’s doing?), sometimes for her (she’s in such misery!) and sometimes it’s plain old jealousy (I hate to see him doing those things to someone else when I want him to be doing them to me.) I so admire people that can watch their Top/lover/Dominant doing things to others and simply feel joy, or pride in their partner, I have accepted that that’s never going to be my default reaction. I am happy to say that I do experience a glimmer of that feeling occasionally – and what a joy it is to feel that, even as a pale ghost of what those others experience – but it is not with the purity that they seem to feel it. Rather it is still murky and muddled with those other feelings, and takes effort to find. But I realized something in those moments when I was holding G while we were both spanked, feeling her body shudder against mine, feeling the tension in her and the force of the blows communicate through her body to mine. I used to play this way with others, and had always loved it. But W and I have never played this way with another woman. Maybe this could help me bridge the gap between the discomfort and a place where I could wholeheartedly enjoy what he was doing to another? I have found that to work when he and Ad have sex with others. If I can feel a part of it – I don’t have to be the center of attention – just there, touching, or even laying quietly next to them, feeling, listening, it seems to alleviate some of the negative feelings that creep up. I don’t know if it would even work with W’s style of play, but it might be something to explore at some point.
That pretty much wraps up another year.
It’s been a tumultuous one, filled with ups and downs, but also one filled with wonderful friends and good times.
Thank you to everyone that came out and made my party so much fun – and who continue to fill my life with love, laughter & joy!