My brain in is a mode of feverish activity…so many thoughts, ideas, musings! I can’t stop them from circling around my brain and pouring out of me – my mouth is going a hundred miles an hour as well as my brain. None of these thoughts is kinky, unfortunately, but…I’m okay with that. ;-) I have come to a realization: I don’t have to live in my kink 24/7. I am not only kinky. I can own and celebrate my vanilla side, the side that is making friends with the vanilla people at work, that is perusing house decorating plans on Pinterest, that is planning to learn to build things like tables and cabinets for the new house, that is loving my job and spending time with my kids and is looking forward to building this new life with the Guys. I know, living as a threesome is not exactly “vanilla”…but…well, it IS. To me. It’s as natural as a monogamous relationship.
But then…hmm…if I am perfectly honest, that last statement is not *exactly* true. It’s not natural enough for me to reference W as my “partner” or “other partner” in talking with my coworkers. He’s been relegated to “my friend W” status, just as he was at my last job. W says he doesn’t mind – and I believe him, it really doesn’t matter to him how the world sees him, because he knows what we have, and that’s what counts – but it matters to me. :-(
Possibly more to ponder on that in future.
There is more to this embracing of my vanilla side (and reveling in allowing both my vanilla and kink sides to flourish) than simply feeling happy. I feel…more alive, more well-rounded, more — more everything. Wasn’t there an 80’s song about the future being so bright they had to wear sunglasses? I feel like that right now. Or like I could fly if I had wings. :-)
I have parlayed this bouncy-bouncy Jade-self into engaging proactively with my coworkers. I have become a Jade (Social) Butterfly! I am going to beat this social anxiety thing yet. Here’s me being social:
- I was invited to a weekly “crafty people” lunch. Accepted, then started to make excuses why I couldn’t go, then decided to do it – and had a GREAT time, talking with the four other ladies there, getting to know them a bit better and checking out their projects. And discovered that I may not have my relationship style in common with them, or my love of being spanked (tho, who really knows about that one?) but I do have lots of other things to talk about with them.
- I took the initiative to reschedule a missed (due to illness) lunch date with two other coworkers.
- I accepted ANOTHER invitation from a coworker for lunch.
- I invited my friend from Chicago (see this post) to come stay with me over the Thanksgiving holiday. I’m dogsitting, but apparently she doesn’t mind a) snuggling up with me at night (there’s only one spare room), or b) hanging with the boxers! (Yay!)
- I accepted an invitation for all of us – Ad, me, W and my friend L – to do Thanksgiving dinner at a friend’s house. I love Thanksgiving, love to cook for Thanksgiving, but couldn’t manage it while dogsitting (I did it last year but it was SO stressful.) This sort of thing always feels like I am imposing, even if I’ve been invited…but I bit the bullet and decided to take the invitation at face value, and not assume that it was only her being nice – because the thing is, she is nice that way, and has invited us over many times for non-kink get-togethers – but we’ve never been able to make them. So…this feels good. Back to that celebration of/integration of kink and vanilla. :-)
- I invited myself out to my Mom’s for a visit after work (it’s an hour drive one-way, so it’s not a drive I relish) but…I need to make the effort.
- I arranged for a beading get-together with some friends, and then for another with my sister. Crafters unite!
- I started making – tentative – plans to travel to the UK next summer. And maybe even present at a conference again. I know – is that some crazy-ass shit or WHAT??
As part of this feverish activity, I’ve been doing all kinds of planning for the new house. Looking at the floor plan, thinking about space usage, planning things like tearing down the plaster off some walls to expose the brick, thinking about paint and replacing carpet in one room with tile…as well as gathering building plans/ideas for cabinets, tables, a fence, etc., and doing lots and lots of daydreaming about what the house will be like/what we’re going to do with the space. As usual, I am a bit “cart before horse” as W says, in that I have already started scouring Craigslist for used furniture, and attended my first estate sale.
I even bought a mattress already for what will be our guest room. I had given my daughter my iron-frame canopy bed, a bedframe that I love, but when she and her boyfriend moved in together they bought a new platform bed, and offered me back the canopy, sans mattress. So that will be the spare room bed (and probably a place where any of us can retreat to if we need space.)
I still have this to finish this —————————————————>>>>
for the master bedroom (converting it into a headboard) but will wait until we get moved to the house to see how I want to do the master bedroom, as what I was planning for it, here at the condo, won’t work there. Although, yeah, I have been looking at Pinterest a lot to see what I might do with it.
Yeah, I got it bad. But it looks like things might be coming together, and might *actually* happen…we are now in negotiations for the last items of contention from the building inspection, and still wrangling over a closing date, but…it does not look like there are any deal-breakers (I hope!) We could close as soon as December 4 or 5. Yeah – that soon! No wonder my brain is going overtime.
A couple silly moments from this weekend:
W and I were laying in bed one morning. Neither of us wanted to climb out from under the warmth of the covers. Snuggling against me, W said, “Too bad Ad’s not here to bring us coffee.” Now before you think, “what a mean thing to say!” you have to realize: Ad likes to get up early. He’s our earlybird. Every morning when we three sleep together, he gets up, does whatever-it-is he does in the wee hours of the morning, and then, when he’s had enough alone-time, makes coffee and brings it to us. It’s the sweetest thing ever!
And then there was this:
W: “We live in such a perfect world. We’re on topic if we’re doing kink and off topic if we’re doing Pinterest.” (trying to keep me focused)
— Jade (@piecesofjade) November 16, 2014
He had me on the runner chain while I blogged, made navy bean soup and brownies – and tried to stay on task and not get distracted by things like this on Pinterest:
I was punished if I allowed myself to get distracted (strap and paddle) and rewarded if I completed a task (my choice of implements.)
Punishment and reward look oddly similar, don’t they?
And that, my friends, is the end of another remarkably-unremarkable-and-yet-wonderful weekend.