It’s strange how insular – isolated, even – one can become, even out here on the big wide internet.  As a blogger, I have a fairly narrow focus, and belong to a fairly small subset of bloggers, and then within that subset I inhabit an even smaller circle, writing about kink and alternative relationships almost exclusively. And then, if you want to narrow my niche down even more, I don’t do reviews & I’m not an “educator.” Although I have been told many times that I should, and certainly could, write authoritatively on a number of subjects, I don’t feel comfortable in that role. nor do I actively seek to enlighten or educate; if people glean some small bit of wisdom from anything I write I am happy, but I certainly don’t have an educational tone here, nor is that my goal in my blog. In general, I tend to read the same kind of blogs, when I get a chance to read them – blogs with a narrative, that tell a personal story, that are intimate and feel more like journals than journalism. Many of those also have reviews and seek to educate in some form or fashion, which is fine, but it is definitely the revelation of intimacy – physical, sexual & emotional – that I seek out in the blogs I follow.

That said, the number of blogs that I follow diligently is rather small, but I am comfortable here in my little corner of the ‘net. An article I ran across on Facebook, An Open Letter from Introverts to Everyone Else, lends a pretty good explanation for this, in particular #3: We don’t need a bajillion friends (but those that we have are freakin’ fabulous.) That attitude extends to my online life as well…but on the other side of the coin, it also engenders the aforementioned isolation. I am comfy here, with the half-dozen or so of you that I keep up with. When someone new enters my world, yay, I’m happy, but I don’t necessarily seek others out.

Thank god for lists like Rori’s yearly Top 100 Sex Bloggers, Molly’s Top Twenty, Beck’s Top 25Rebel Note’s Top 20, Kinkly’s Top 100 and (newly discovered) FuckBlogging’s Top 10. And for blog series that list a blogger’s favorite posts of the week or month, such as Curvaceous Dee’s Intriguing Reading, Molly’s Trolling the Net, Beck’s Read This Round Up, Malflic’s Other People’s Kink, Cammies on the Floor’s monthly round-up and Hyacinth’s Two More Dissolutes series. If it wasn’t for these, I might still be on LiveJournal. Discovering that there was a whole world of sex bloggers out here was…well…a revelation. It catapulted me off LiveJournal and out here with all of you, a place I am happy to be, a community I am honored to be a part of.

I think I appreciate the “favorite posts” posts even more than the Top Blogger lists.  I enjoy reading about why someone else found a particular blog post interesting and worthwhile enough to blog about – why they feel it is read-worthy.  The bottom line though, for the Top lists and these kinds of posts, is that these are all bloggers whose opinions I trust, whose blogs I read, and whose lists are personal opinion, rather than popularity contests (except for Kinkly’s list, which was a most-votes list, but there are still a lot of blogs to be perused there.) I have found many new bloggers to read on every one of their lists – in point of fact I am not sure I would have found any of the blogs I read had I not stumbled upon Rori’s list way back in the day, when I was a just a baby blogger still on LiveJournal.  And yes, I am honored and proud to be on some of those lists, but that really isn’t what this post is about. It’s about encouraging you, dear anonymous reader, to go forth and prosper—

Ha. Ad just read that over my shoulder – “go forth and prosper” – and said, “You’re doing it again.” “What?” I said. “Mixing your sayings up. You’re mixing up a biblical phrase, “Go forth and multiply,” with a Star Trek one, “Live long and prosper.”

Somehow mixing the two up seems apropos. ;-)

So will I ever do a “Top Whatever” list? I doubt it. Too much work, too much having to pick one over another, to many choices, too much potential for hurt feelings – ICK. I admire the shit out of those of you who do it, but the closest I might come is renewing my commitment to do a “monthly favorites” round-up, or some such thing.

If I can ever find time to read anymore than I do now. (Sigh.)

But seriously, to those of you that do take the time, make the effort (and sometimes take the heat) to make these lists – thank you all for doing what you do.

Anyway. Go. Browse. Read. Click those links above and find someone new to fall in love with – or at least their words. I have, and do, over and over.


  1. Cammies on the Floor

    I got the idea from Curvaceous Dee, as I it seemed somehow more personal to read what she was reading and liking. And I discovered other bloggers, which I love to do.

    When I make the list up, it is a work in progress until its already scheduled post date. Everything that gets me, I try to attach. And I read far too much. I try to support our little blogging community as best I can, but in reading so much, not as much touches me in some way. So the ones that do, I feel the need to shout out.

    I feel like you are a wonderful asset to the blogging community, and am grateful that I can come here to read – even if it’s just a quick update.

  2. Molly

    Thanks for the mention here. I have really enjoyed my trolling the net posts this year although I have been too busy to do for a while now I will continue them in 2015. I think they are a great way of sharing the things I read with the people who read me.


  3. hawkeye

    Love your attitude “I am here to tell my story, not to try improve you”. I left the midwest long ago but both sides of my families go back a few generations there and this belief is strong with us but I see it too rarely. Where are you from originally? .

    Suggestion: you should do a poll ” Why are you here”. It would be cool for us to know and for you to know who your audience is. I am here for the kink and the pictures of you out in the wild. The fact that you are so free with who you are is mind blowing. I have not figured out yet if I should cheer this or call it stupidity and be appalled. I assume that at some point you have talked about why you do this and how any risk of affects you but I must have missed it. Anyways, must bloggers I read never even show their face, much less their house, car and so on.

    Anyways, great post. Anybody who believes in diversity is OK in my books.

    1. Jade Post author

      Hello Hawkeye, thanks for stopping by, and taking the time to comment! :-)

      I’m actually a West Coast gal – born and raised in Northern California, though I have lived here long enough I guess I could almost consider myself a Midwesterner (tho I don’t!) lol

      Regarding a “why are you here” poll, I did a similar one several years ago, when I was trying to figure out how to (and if I should) integrate what was then two separate blogs – A Poly Life and PiecesofJade. One was about being poly, my family life and relationships, the other was about my kink life. At that point, my kink blog was much more anonymous than it is now, although the links were there between the two, but as my vanilla/poly and kink life are so intertwined, it was hard to maintain that separation, and frankly I didn’t want to keep them separate anymore. The result is this space, where my three identities (it includes my author site as well) are intertwined. If you haven’t seen the intro video I did back when I first created K&P, you can see it here:

      In any case, you bring up some interesting questions about anonymity and why I do what I do…yes, I’ve talked about it a time or two, but I am sure I will revisit it in future as well.

      Thank you for a thought-provoking comment, and I hope to see you around here more often.


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